Who am I?

After forty some years of walking with the Lord, I still sometimes ask myself that question. Daughter, sister, aunt, friend, and yes, staying realistic, an enemy as well. I have not been everyone’s favorite person over the years, even had some actively working against me. In at least two times it was because of my faith, and I lost one job and two advancements because of it. Some people I just seemed to rub wrong. Some people I was just in their space at the wrong time. Some just plain didn’t understand me and had no desire to try to do so. And, sometimes life had me in survival mode and I didn’t encourage the chance to make changes in relationships.

I can say I am an introvert, a Highly Sensitive Person, or any number of the world’s explanations for our personalities, our behaviors. However, I spent many years serving the Lord, trusting Him to strengthen me, to uphold me in those tough social situations, enable me to love as He defines love, and give me the space and rest I needed in short spurts to continue in service to Him. I did not however always use the wisdom He had for me, and I ended up worn down and sick, and consequently pulled away from many things a few times in my life. During those times, God was always with me, and eventually I was able to get my focus off of myself and back on Him.

Who am I? All of the above list. Why do I ask that? Perhaps because change continues, and sometimes we get lost when change comes quickly and in abundance. I can’t do some of the things I used to do. Not physically, not mentally, not emotionally, not financially. There has been a lot of prayer about it, because I don’t want to fail my God. And that is when He reminds me I am not a failure. I’m just doing life differently, I am still usable, and I need to let the past be the past and focus on the now, and the future.

Other than writing, studying, and praying, there isn’t a lot I can say I am doing. That’s in comparison to the years of outreach, discipleship, teaching, and worship I used to take part in. But, what I do, I do with God’s blessing, and trust that the person that needs the prayer will get it, the person who needs a word of encouragement, or a word of truth to change, will get it. And I am enriched by the study I’ve been able to do.

So, who am I?

A child of God. A daughter. A sister. An aunt. A friend. And yes, an enemy to the enemy.

Blessings today, my friends.